Education never ends, Watson. It is a series of lessons, with the greatest for the last. You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear. Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius. My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people don’t know. You know my method. It is founded upon the observation of trifles. Elementary, my dear Watson. Come, Watson, come! The game is afoot. Not a word! Into your clothes and come! The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes. I am the most incurably lazy devil that ever stood in shoe leather Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes up and gives Dr. Watson a nudge. ‘Watson’ he says, ‘look up in the sky and tell me what you see.’ ‘I see millions of stars, Holmes,’ says Watson. ‘And what do you conclude from that, Watson?’ Watson thinks for a moment. ‘Well,’ he says, ‘astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meterologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and we are small and insignificant. Uh, what does it tell you, Holmes?’ ‘Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!’
That’s why you always leave a note! It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. Well, what do you expect, mother? There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. I’m half machine. I’m a monster. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.